Some people don't believe me when I tell them about how my boys are always into stuff and are high maintenance. Well....let me tell you about my day SO FAR:
I thought about doing an entire blog (with pictures) of all the messes that our children make and that I consequently clean up in one day. I missed the first two messes of today, so I'll save the pictoral blog for another day.
8 am - AJ is standing on a chair, helping himself in the cupboard while I'm taking my morning pee. When I come out he says he wants cream of wheat, grabs the box, sticks it under his arm as the open spout dumps cream of wheat all over the chair and floor.
9 am - I'm in the shower and AJ comes in with yogurt asking me to open it. I tell him no, wait until I get out of the shower and then you can have some. As I get out of the shower I find yogurt all over the carpet in our bedroom, down the hallway, and on the sofa, where he is sitting there, eating it. Owen has also helped himself to a yogurt and is licking his fingers after he's been dipping them in the butter tub, which is sitting open on the coffee table..
9:20 am - I'm blow-drying my hair when Owen comes in saying, "come show you". I come out to find a bowl, and Aunt Jemima mix all over the kitchen floor, where AJ had tried to dump it.
11:00 am - I set the boys up with a movie and some popcorn for a snack and go to make my bed and pick up laundry. When I come back, AJ has grabbed peanut butter off the counter and is smearing it all over the coffee table, while Owen rides a tricycle around the living room while dumping salt (?!) all over the living room floor.
And AJ has helped himself to milk from the fridge and promptly spilled it on the couch.
Sidebar:
Now...after breakfast this morning I told the boys repeatedly that they were NOT to get into the pantry or the fridge without asking me - they are CONSTANTLY getting into food. We would have a snack in a few hours and they needed to wait. They both got spanked for the yogurt/butter thing, then AJ got spanked for the Aunt Jemima, and they both also got spanked for an attempted refrigerator raid. There's been a lot more spankings around here than usual today, but I'm getting really tired of the food messes and want it to stop. You'd think it would start to set in. Oh, and before I get flak for it - we HAVE put a refrigerator lock on (they broke it off) and a "childproof" thingy on the pantry door - Owen had it off in about 5 minutes of it being put on.
ANYWAY......
So I decide that I have to get out of the house before they drive me completely insane so i tell them we'll go to the train table at the bookstore. Too bad they can't go more than 35 seconds without fighting and yelling over a train. I give them 3 chances to stop fighting, which they blow in the course of about 8 minutes -- Owen was, as usual, instigating by taking trains and irritating AJ, who would completely freak out and start crying and whining about it.
After the last chance I say that we're leaving to which Owen pitches an absolute FIT. I mean FIT. He kept running around the table to get away from me. I was carrying AJ and had to set him down to literally CHASE after Owen. IT would have been comical except that people were looking at us as he was crying and saying "no, no" and he really was fast enough that he kept getting away. Finally I shoved the table against a display so he couldn't run around it, and he tried to run down an aisle from me. I actually grabbed his HAIR to stop him and get him to come with me. At this point he threw himself on the ground and was SCREAMING at the top of his lungs, kicking his feet, the whole circus act. And I'm not exagerrating at all. EVERYONE in the store turned to look at us -- I was one of THOSE moms. I had Owen under one arm, screaming his head off and AJ in the other as I stomped out of the store. I told Owen it would be a LONG LONG time before I ever took him back to the train table. I'm also reconsidering procreation at this point.
So we come home.
Since then, Owen has pulled every cup and plate out of the cupboard and AJ decided it would be a good idea to drink some water and then SPIT IT all over the kitchen floor.
And it's only 5:15.
I think I need Super Nanny. Or a dog crate. Anybody out there got a couple dog crates I could borrow? Or a vacation? Yes, a vacation just for me to a spa...for about 2 weeks.
Gotta go....I heard something food-like being spilled in the kitchen. I think it's popcorn kernels. All over the floor. *sigh*
Somebody shoot me.
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9 comments:
Sounds like it's time for you to cash in your present from the vball team.
It’s a little late to reconsider procreation. Don’t cha think!:)
TWL
I think they call them child locks, hasps, hooks, you know things to keep the little men out of areas they shouldn't go...handcuffs, duct tape and flexicuffs are also effective restraining devices...Taser's (www.taser.com) also are effective and the cou de gras; booby traps...
Oh my gosh! Did Owen's feet fly in the air and his back hit the ground as you grabbed his hair?!!!
THIS is why you have girl, boy, girl, boy, boy...I hope you had Steve's sperm spun...oh, wait.
Tried Prozac? They took all the good stuff out of Nyquil.
We don't have a dog crate, but we have a dog you can have. We'll even pay for shipping.
At least we know that if something should ever happen to you, the boys can feed themselves.
Been there, done that, fridge locks and all. Did I mention that Huntsville is only a few hours drive?
Forgot from all the ribbing I was giving to tell you that I sent your book off today. Good blog yesterday, lots of feedback! Have my list in hand, except I paid my library fees...would have been cheaper to BUY the books ")
Better day tomorrow.
amy - It wasn't an abusive jail-fight hair grab. It was more like I was trying to grab his shirt, but he was just out of my reach so i got a small handful of hair instead. As soon as he felt me land hold of him he crumpled to the ground in a fit of rage.
I'll pass on the dog. I know your dog. He wouldn't last a week here before I'd have his butt out on the street. Although on the other hand...maybe a dog is just what we need. He could've licked up the Aunt Jemima, the Cream of Wheat, the Peanut Butter, the Spilled Milk....
And I'm seriously thinking of getting out of dodge here in the next couple weeks. Basketball season is in full swing with games twice a week (at least) for the whole month. For my own sanity, I'm thinking I'll leave.
Here's to today being a better day.
I wrote a very funny response yesterday, but blogger ate it.
I would say yes to the dog. Sid does half my work. No crummies on my floor. Course, she makes a lot of work, too, but at least I expect it from her.
The other gem I have to offer: my friend D teaches a parenting course called "love and logic." It's the parenting technique we saw often on the Cosby Show and it makes being the mom and dad fun again. Look it up sometime... I love it.
If you want to get "really" out of dodge, there is another soon to be widow up in Sparta, MI that wouldn't mind your company :)
I dont know how you do it. Kudo's to you for being super mom. I would have been long gone by 10:00. I need to take lessons from you when I have kids.
NEss- Do you rent Sid out? I might be interested in a trial version.
Rob - Sure. Just buy 3 roundtrip plane tix and we'll be there pronto.
Amy - You don't want lessons from me. Super mom has left the building.
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