You know when you're unlucky enough to have to call customer service for something...something that should take mere minutes, and somehow you end up on the phone forever?? Like the time I was on the phone with Dell for AN HOUR AND A HALF??? Or the time I got stuck in automatic simulated-human prompter land with Mediacom for 20 minutes? It went something like this:
Prompter: Welcome to Mediacom. I'd like to know what your problem is. After the beep, say what you're calling in reference to. For example, say 'cable' , or 'telephone':
Me: telephone
Prompter: Okay. I heard you say internet. Is that correct?
Me: NO! Telephone!
Prompter: Okay. I heard you say telephone. Is that correct?
Me: Yes, moron.
Prompter: Okay. Great. After the beep, tell me what we can do to help you with your telephone. For example, say 'line down' or 'setup a new line' or 'schedule repair'
Me: Schedule repair
Prompter: Okay. I heard you say 'setup a new line' Is that correct?
Me: No!No!No! Repair! REPAIR! (at this point i start punching "0" repeatedly to try to get to an operator, a LIVE one.
Prompter: I'm sorry. I didn't understand that. Can you repeat your problem please?
Me: YOU! YOU are my problem, you stupid automated person.
Prompter: I'm sorry. I didn't understand that. Please speak clearly and say your problem so that I can direct you.
Me: I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO A [EXPLETIVE] LIVE PERSON. THAT'S my problem.
Prompter: Okay. It sounds like you'd like to speak to an operator. Hold on, I'll transfer you.
_______________
What the ---???
So apparently, automated voice lines are programmed to recognize when the caller starts cursing so they can be transferred to real people before the company infuriates the so much that they lose them as customers.
So next time you have to call customer service for something, you could either do what I did, and swear loudly at the automated operator OR you could look here at this list at Get a Human, where they give you detailed instructions on what you'll need to do to...well, get a human when you call.
Just a bit of helpful information for you on your Tuesday morning.
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2 comments:
I was on the line with BellSouth for an hour and a half once, when our internet wasn't working. Never could get even the HUMANS to listen to me. Our BellSouth internet was cancelled the very next day. Riley still cringes & groans anytime we see a BellSouth repair van.
amyn
That is AWESOME! Dell usually connects you to someone in India that barely speaks English.
What's worse, in your opinion? Customer service calls directed out of country or simulated-human?
I really think you should have filed this under, "Where does she find this stuff?"
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