Some -Isms To Start Your Morning

Public Restroom -Ism:
Owen is notorious for stripping down completely naked whenever he has to poop. We've tried to convince him that this is not necessary....I've threatened, pleaded, cajoled, bribed, begged....PLEASE, just sit on the toilet like a normal person and poop! to no avail.
On our way back to Georgia from Michigan, we made a pitstop to get out, stretch, and take a potty break at a Wendy's just off an exit. I took Owen inside since we both had to go to the bathroom. He took one stall and then announced, "I hafta go poop!"
I go in the stall with him and command: "Ok. But do NOT take off all of your clothes. Pull down your pants and then just sit on the toilet and go"
Owen (begrudgingly): "O---kaaaay. But you get out. Go away so I can poop mama."
I leave the stall but stand outside so that I can make sure he doesn't strip down. He sees me peeking through and gives me a cheeky smile but sits compliantly on the toilet. He wiggles and squirms for a few moments, with me asking about every 10 seconds...."are you done yet?" to which he hollers, "NO!"
At one point he says concernedly, "mama!?"
"Yes, Owen?"
"I HAFTA take my clothes off! So I can poop mama!"
"No owen, do it the way you are right now"
I decide to go to the bathroom myself in the stall next door while I wait. As I'm peeing, I hear him poking and prodding at the toilet paper dispenser in his stall.
"What's that say mama?" he asks, pointing to the company name on the toilet paper dispenser.
"It's says SCA" I said back.
"Mama. I have to take off my clothes to poop"
"NO. YOU. DON'T." I said as I finished up, my patience starting to wear thin.
"But it says so right HERE."
"Where?"
"RIGHT. HERE." he insists.
By this time I'm done and I peek through the crack in the stall and see him pointing at the letters SCA on the toilet paper dispenser. He points to each letter and deliberately tells me, as if he's talking to a very stupid dog,
"RIGHT THERE!" He loudly insists. "It SAYS, "Take. Off. Your. Pants. When. You. Poop."

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Feed the Children -Ism:
This morning, after breakfast, Owen brings some trains out to the kitchen and lines them up on the counter. One of them is an empty cargo train that Owen likes to fill with various items - rocks, marshmallows, crackers, bits of rolled up toilet paper, etc. He sets them on the counter and says, "mama. i need some smarshmallows to put inside Bill & Ben's freight train."
Me: "no, owen - you just ate breakfast. you can have some marshmallows for your train at snack time" I said as I spooned pureed bananas and yogurt into Tyler's mouth.
Owen: "But MAMA. Please, please, PLEASE can I have some smarshmallows for the train?"
Me: No.
Owen (talking in a high pitched Bill & Ben train voice): "But mama...we need some smarshmallows for our train because we need to take it to the children"
Me: What children would that be Bill & Ben?
Owen: The HUNGRY children over the mountain! They have no food!
Me: Well, they'll have to wait until snack time
Owen (as Bill & Ben): But mama, they are SOOooooo hungry!
Me: Sorry. They'll have to wait.
Owen angrily intervenes on behalf of the hungry children and says in his normal voice: MAMA! The little children are SO hungry! They are STARVING and they just need SOME SMARSHMALLOWS!
Me: They can wait a few hours until snack time Owen.
Owen angrily and with a clipped tone says, "Fine! You killed them mama" and stomps off to his room.

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Common Sense Train-ism:
Shortly after I killed the starving children by not feeding them marshmallows, Owen and AJ both come out to the kitchen, trains in hand, and set them up on the kitchen counter. I'm still feeding Tyler and I listen as they play:
Owen (as Bill & Ben trains): Thomas! We need some smarshmallows for our freight train"
AJ (as Thomas & Percy trains): yeah! that's a good idea Bill & Ben!
Owen: Thomas! Can you go to the cupboard and get us some marshmallows??
AJ: No. I can't.
Owen: But Thomas, we need some marshmallows for our train!
AJ: I CAN'T!!
Owen: Thomas! PLEASE! We need some smarshmallows!
AJ: BUT I CAN'T Bill & Ben! I DON'T HAVE ANY ARMS!!