Saturday, October 28, 2006

Words I Hate....

I was replying to Amy Lynn's post in which she asked if it was ok to use the word, "ultra" to which I replied yes, as long as she didn't use the word, "uber" which for some reason, I totally cannot stand. And then that got me thinking of other words or phrases that I hate, and here are a few of them. Feel free to add your own to the list.

"Panties" (it sound so pre-pubescent and grandma-ish at the same time. *shudder*) My sister-in-law used this word extensively last week with her 2-yr old daughter - "Abby, go put your new Blue's Clues panties on" (the kid likes to be naked). "Abby, where are your panties?" It made me cringe every time. I should explore the deeper psychological issues at play here...That is one of my all time top-hated words.

"Welp" (as in, "welp, see ya later!")

"Get 'R Done" (for some reason this phrase not only annoys me but makes me feel a lot of inner rage for some reason. I need to examine that a little further....)

"Yo Dawg" (this makes me think of middle class white boys riding around with rap music blasting out of their Honda Accords. I find it extremely aggravating)

"Scrumptious" (it's a ridiculous sounding word and that's all there is to it)

"***" As in, that miniscule little * at the end of a promotional offer or at the bottom of a television screen.

YOU'RE OUR 1BAZILLIONTH VISITOR! YOU WIN A FREE LAPTOP, JUST CLICK HERE!!!* <-----There?? Do you see it? do you see that tiny star?? That's what basically tells you in size .004235 size font at the bottom of the screen that if you actually fall for that gimmick and click on the link, it is a scientific fact that you have no brain.

OR at the bottom of a prescription advertisement: TRY SEASONALE FOR YOUR ALLERGY RELIEF** <---there it is again!
And as you're wondering what the star implies is at the end of the word, you catch glimpses of the voice of the commercial telling you -- (in a male voice, that while soothing and calm, is speaking the English language so quickly that a chipmunk on speed couldn't even understand) that Seasonale, although that greatest medicinal drug to ever be conceived by man "could cause...hemmorhoids, 4 day constipation, bleeding out your eyes, rapid-fire sneezing, intestinal blockages, liver failure, a 4 hour erection, dizziness, an inabilitity to sleep for 6 days, mild psychosis, and unexplained barking. Ask your doctor if it's right for you."

"Rebate" --Just seeing this word makes me instantly annoyed. What's the point of buying something for more money than it's worth just so that some corporation can send me my money BACK in a few weeks?? WHY would I want to spend the time to fill out your stupid rebate form so that you can sell my name and address to some junkmail-spamming fools so I can get millions of pieces of completely useless advertisements for address labels personalized with a picture of my cat or adjustable orthopedic mattresses that cost so much money that you'll send me a free promotional video to try to convince me of how badly I need one? Why don't you just let me keep my money in the first place?? WHY? WHY?? WHY?? %$@#$!??

I'm sure I"ll think of more, but that's what came to mind in the first 10 seconds of pondering this issue. Great. Now I'll lie awake in bed tonight thinking of more words and phrases and commercials that I hate....Maybe I need a prescription sleep aid. Although I've heard that those can cause mild side effects....***

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

panties, weiner, stinkin' thinkin' ")

Anonymous said...

Yo Tammi-Dawg!

Funny story...I've had these REBATES to fill out for several weeks, so while sitting in church today, I decided today was the day to "Get'R Done"! All of a sudden, I noticed my panties felt a little moist and realized I was sitting in Poppy's* seat (he's in charge of the baptistry and tends to MOISTEN everything he touches). What was I going to do?! Today was potluck supper after church, and I definitely didn't want to miss all that SCRUMPTIOUS food. So, after church, I quickly slipped into a choir robe to cover my MOIST stain, and went to the potluck w/o missing a beat ")

Welp, I'd better go get on those REBATES so I can get back some UBER cash!

*Names have been changed*

Anonymous said...

Wud up BIG PIMP’IN,
Me and my cuz Britt & my other cuz Amy got to show you are awesome panties. We gonna ride by ya crib sometime. Ya gotta check out our uber sweet grillz. Welp, gotta get ‘r done. Peace out home dawg.

The One, The Only…
**THE WISE LIBERO**

$1.00 REBATE OFFER: on black durags, must send in proof of purchase in a sealed and stamped envelope with a return address; please address the envelope to
123 Pine Avenue
Albany, New York 39752

Anonymous said...

you people really need to get a life.

Seriously, How long did you sit at the computer thinking that up??

:)

Anonymous said...

You forgot

"may cause gas with an oily discharge."

There is an actual drug out there with that as an actual side effect. We sent a free sample to our pastor once.

: )

Anonymous said...

it's Xenical. i love google.

Anonymous said...

I love the prefix "uber" and attempt to use it as often as possible.

But, I hate the word "booties" as in the paper like shoe covers that one slips over normal footwear so as not to soil a freshly clean floor.

Anonymous said...

Okay, so, I admit I'm anonymous, and what's REALLY sad is it only took me a couple of minutes to author that fictional story. And everybody thinks your a great writer...please ")

Anonymous said...

That's really funny!
I hate the word puss!!
Just typing it freaks me out!

That and mole (ewwww!)

Anyway...I'm REALLY glad your home!!!
Love Ya

Anonymous said...

"may cause gas with an oily discharge."


*snort*

That made me spit out my coffee on the computer screen.