So the Real Secret is.....

Yesterday I ventured into the store to pick up what my mother would call "toiletries". Why items belonging in the bathroom and having to do with personal hygiene are referred to in this matter, I have no idea, but that's a post for another day.

In particular, I needed shower gel, deodorant, and Baby Oil Gel --if you're incredibly nosy and were simply dying of curiosity to know what "toiletry" type items I was in search of.
The boys were at preschool, so rather than do my usual "swipe-whatever-deodorant-looks-cheap-and-is-easily-within-reach-before-
AJ-knocks-down-28-boxes-of-tampons-from-the-adjacent-shelf" tactic that I usually employ, I took time to peruse the dazzling display of deodorant before me.

You out there, without children, or with children grown -- lest you forget the sheer pleasure of perusing the aisles of toiletries in uninterrupted silence, let me tell you - is is a rare luxury. There are few moments peace in a mother's time, and so to stand there in Target, arms folded across my chest, letting my eyes rake over every single colorful anti-perspirant before me, contemplating the possibilities that awaited for my underarms, was 4 minutes of pure bliss. Solid, soft-solid, gel, aerosol, anti-perspirant, scented, unscented, organic - it's mind-boggling let me tell you. Now, Secret is my brand of choice, so after a cursory glance over the other brands (you never know when something different might catch your eye - like Teen Spirit, which my eyes linger over every time as wonder if Curt Cobain rolls in his grave every time a pre-adolescent girl rubs said product on her armpits) I stepped to the side to view the display of Secret deodorant before me.

After deciding which one I wanted, and having it in hand (Shower Fresh semi-solid, if you must know) I was turning to place said item in my cart when I caught site of this:


What is it, you wonder?? It is Secret Deodorant - solid. BUT, this is no regular secret deodorant, oh no! This is Secret SPARKLE - and not only sparkle, but in a lovely Vanilla Chai scent.

So for me, the real secret is......WHO IN THE ____ would want their armpits to sparkle....OR smell like Vanilla Chai??? Please, someone tell me. Are you out there women? Is there someone out there reading this, who is typing a comment right now with sparkly vanilla-chai scented underarms?? Or I suppose....it could be a man as well. As Steve will testify - Secret IS....strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
Reveal yourself, please - I must know.