2 Kids for Sale

Some people don't believe me when I tell them about how my boys are always into stuff and are high maintenance. Well....let me tell you about my day SO FAR:

I thought about doing an entire blog (with pictures) of all the messes that our children make and that I consequently clean up in one day. I missed the first two messes of today, so I'll save the pictoral blog for another day.

8 am - AJ is standing on a chair, helping himself in the cupboard while I'm taking my morning pee. When I come out he says he wants cream of wheat, grabs the box, sticks it under his arm as the open spout dumps cream of wheat all over the chair and floor.

9 am - I'm in the shower and AJ comes in with yogurt asking me to open it. I tell him no, wait until I get out of the shower and then you can have some. As I get out of the shower I find yogurt all over the carpet in our bedroom, down the hallway, and on the sofa, where he is sitting there, eating it. Owen has also helped himself to a yogurt and is licking his fingers after he's been dipping them in the butter tub, which is sitting open on the coffee table..

9:20 am - I'm blow-drying my hair when Owen comes in saying, "come show you". I come out to find a bowl, and Aunt Jemima mix all over the kitchen floor, where AJ had tried to dump it.

11:00 am - I set the boys up with a movie and some popcorn for a snack and go to make my bed and pick up laundry. When I come back, AJ has grabbed peanut butter off the counter and is smearing it all over the coffee table, while Owen rides a tricycle around the living room while dumping salt (?!) all over the living room floor.
And AJ has helped himself to milk from the fridge and promptly spilled it on the couch.

Sidebar:
Now...after breakfast this morning I told the boys repeatedly that they were NOT to get into the pantry or the fridge without asking me - they are CONSTANTLY getting into food. We would have a snack in a few hours and they needed to wait. They both got spanked for the yogurt/butter thing, then AJ got spanked for the Aunt Jemima, and they both also got spanked for an attempted refrigerator raid. There's been a lot more spankings around here than usual today, but I'm getting really tired of the food messes and want it to stop. You'd think it would start to set in. Oh, and before I get flak for it - we HAVE put a refrigerator lock on (they broke it off) and a "childproof" thingy on the pantry door - Owen had it off in about 5 minutes of it being put on.

ANYWAY......
So I decide that I have to get out of the house before they drive me completely insane so i tell them we'll go to the train table at the bookstore. Too bad they can't go more than 35 seconds without fighting and yelling over a train. I give them 3 chances to stop fighting, which they blow in the course of about 8 minutes -- Owen was, as usual, instigating by taking trains and irritating AJ, who would completely freak out and start crying and whining about it.
After the last chance I say that we're leaving to which Owen pitches an absolute FIT. I mean FIT. He kept running around the table to get away from me. I was carrying AJ and had to set him down to literally CHASE after Owen. IT would have been comical except that people were looking at us as he was crying and saying "no, no" and he really was fast enough that he kept getting away. Finally I shoved the table against a display so he couldn't run around it, and he tried to run down an aisle from me. I actually grabbed his HAIR to stop him and get him to come with me. At this point he threw himself on the ground and was SCREAMING at the top of his lungs, kicking his feet, the whole circus act. And I'm not exagerrating at all. EVERYONE in the store turned to look at us -- I was one of THOSE moms. I had Owen under one arm, screaming his head off and AJ in the other as I stomped out of the store. I told Owen it would be a LONG LONG time before I ever took him back to the train table. I'm also reconsidering procreation at this point.

So we come home.

Since then, Owen has pulled every cup and plate out of the cupboard and AJ decided it would be a good idea to drink some water and then SPIT IT all over the kitchen floor.

And it's only 5:15.

I think I need Super Nanny. Or a dog crate. Anybody out there got a couple dog crates I could borrow? Or a vacation? Yes, a vacation just for me to a spa...for about 2 weeks.

Gotta go....I heard something food-like being spilled in the kitchen. I think it's popcorn kernels. All over the floor. *sigh*
Somebody shoot me.

An Inconvenient Truth

Steve-o and I watched this last night. It was pretty incredible and very eye-opening. We'll be making some changes in our consumer consumption after watching this movie. Good stewardship - it's a challenging task.



Watch it, then tell your friends to watch it.

Then tell me what you think.

What's On Your Reading List??

So I've been meaning to blog about books for quite awhile now, but just haven't taken the time to sit down and do it. Well, today I have time. So let's get started.

I love to read. I always have. In middle school (my "ugly years" as Steve would say - and he's right) I packed on the pounds because my favorite pastime after school and on Saturdays was not to frolick around in the great outdoors, but to lay in my room and read for hours. Well, that..... and I ate too much too, but that's beside the point.

Here's What I've Read in the last few months:

The Chronicles of Narnia: I hadn't read it since I was little and I thought the movie was so good I wanted to refresh my memory on the plotline. These are classic and definitely easy reading. I read them all in about a month.

The Girls Who Went Away:
The byline of this book reads, "The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe vs. Wade". Being adopted, I found this this title rather interesting and ordered it off a whim from Amazon. It was incredible and totally changed the way that I view adoption and my birth mother. The author puts together and oral history of hundreds of women who surrendered children in the 50's, 60's, and 70's. Fessler artfully blends a background history of how unwed pregnant women were viewed while mixing very touching and poignant stories of young girls being shipped off alone to maternity homes or being hidden inside their own homes so as the neighbors would not know. It gave me a greater understanding of the circumstances surrounding my own adoption and was very eye-opening.

Cider House Rules and A Prayer for Owen Meany: John Irving is one of my favorite authors ever. He's been referred to as the "American Dickens" -- a believable description in my opinion. His characters has depth, his plotlines pull you in and are rich in metaphor and symbolism. He's a wonderful story-teller. Everyone's heard of the movie Cider House Rules, but as usual, the book is better. :) A Prayer for Owen Meany was another novel that was adapted to screen in the movie "Simon Birch" but again, the book is so much better.

Running with Scissors: This memoir by Augusten Burroughs gained so much attention in the media over the summer that I couldn't resist picking it up. Critics have said, ..."this memoir has moments of intoxicating hilarity and grief" and "A wonderful autobiography...Beautifully written, generous, twisted" -- they got the twisted part right. The basic plot is that this kid was left in the care of his mother's shrink (i.e. abandoned), who was actually crazy himself. The kid experiences some of the most horrific things that a child should never have to endure and basically takes care of himself as a 10 year old. I know this book got lots of thumbs-up but I give it a major thumbs down. I'm all about rising above difficult circumstances, but I found this biography mostly disturbing and depressing.

The Memory Keepers Daughter:
On a winter night in 1964, Dr. David Henry is forced by a blizzard to deliver his own twins. His son, born first, is perfectly healthy. Yet when his daughter is born, he sees immediately that she has Down's syndrome. Rationalizing it as a need to protect Norah, his wife, he makes a split second decision that will alter all of their lives forever. He asks his nurse to take the baby away to an institution and never to reveal the secret. But Caroline, the nurse, cannot leave the infant. Instead, she disappears into another city to raise the child herself. So begins this beautifully told story - it's just a good book to curl up and read by the fire.

Those are the books (that I remember anyway) that I've read in the last few months. Here's what I'm currently diving into:

The Republic:
by Plato, of course. This book shaped much of western thought, philosophy, and culture. The central question of Plato's discussion: "What is justice, and why should we be just, especially when the wicked often seem happier and more successful?" Steve-o and I are reading this one together.

Adventures in Missing the Point:How the Culture-Controlled Church Neutered the Gospel
by Brian McLaren and Tony Campolo. I actually got this book for Steve for Christmas but I started reading it a few days ago and it's really interesting. McLaren will rock your spiritual socks and leave you thinking. Campolo provides a nice counter-balance and they banter back and forth, challenging each other's thoughts and ideas after each chapter.

A Photographer's Life 1990-2005:
This book follows Annie Leibovitz through 15 years of camera encounters, recapturing her lens snaps of presidents, actors, authors, war orphans, sports stars, musicians, and her own children. An excellent coffee-table book - I Loooooovvvveeee it. :)

My "Purse Books" -- I like to reread classics so that I stay up-date and feeling semi-intelligent so I usually keep a book of this type in the car or in my purse so that when I have some downtime - waiting to pick the boys up from preschool, or waiting in line for fast food or something, I read a little bit of it. Most often I don't ever finish them, just read enough of them to refresh my memory and make me feel cool. My two latest purse books? Dante's Inferno and The Wasteland by T.S. Eliot.
Next up: The Scarlet Letter by Hawthorne.
I won't give a snyopsis on these, because...well, if you don't at least recognize the titles and have a vague idea of plotline, you should be flogged.

And last but not least, Books You Should Read Just Because I Like Them:

Honeymoon with My Brother:A Memoir
Basically, this guy gets dumped a few days before his wedding, but decides to go on his honeymoon anyway - with his brother. As a result, their relationship becomes closer than ever and they both end up quitting their jobs and traveling the world. The best part? It's true (hence the name, "memoir"). This one will make you want to quit your job, pack your bags and hop on the next plane to Calcutta.

A Separate Peace:
One of my favorite books of all time. A coming-of-age story about two friends attending boarding school during World War II, and the harrowing experiences of a dark adolescence that shape them. Dang, that sounded good - like a real book review.

Freakonomics: A rogue economists explores the hidden side of everything. This book is easy reading and really fascinating. Which is more dangerous, a gun or a swimming pool? What do schoolteachers and sumo wrestlers have in common? Why do drug dealers still live with their moms? How much do parents really matter? What kind of impact did Roe v. Wade have on violent crime? This is probably the only economics book that will keep you glued to the pages. And bonus! It's easy reading too. Read a chapter, leave it for a few days or weeks. Then pick it up again and read another one. Fascinating stuff, really.

Harry Potter.
Nuff said.

The DaVinci Code:
Everyone's heard of it, but gosh darn it, it's just a really good book. And if you've seen the movie and don't want to read the book, try Angels & Demons, also by Dan Brown and equally as exciting. Steve-0 liked A&D better than the DaVinci Code.

Nickel and Dimed:On (NOT) Getting By in America:
Barbara Ehrenreich goes undercover and spends months laboring as a cleaning woman; as a waitress; and as a Wal-Mart sales clerk. Her revelations about these hard, supposedly "unskilled" jobs and the difficulty of making ends meet in the U.S. is a fascinating look at those at or below poverty level in our country. I read this book back in college as a social work major, and it's just a really interesting look at how the "uneducated" get by (or try to) in America.

To Kill A Mockingbird:
I like this book so much that if we ever get a dog, I'm going to name it Boo Radley.

Matisse: A Second Life:
One of my favorite artists of all time. He examines genres and techniques with such curiosity and pleasure you can't help but gain an appreciation for his work. His facsination with human form I find most refreshing. I like this book. Most other people probably couldn't care two craps about it though, so take this one with a grain of salt.


Alrighty then. Now that you have a reading list to last you for the next 8 months, how about you share some of your favorite books with me, so I can stock up too??

Goal: Lose 20

Steve-O got me a gym membership for Christmas, which I was SO stoked about. It was the ONE thing that I wanted most and I got it. Thanks babe!

Anyway, my membership starts today so I'm hoping to start out going 3 times a week - Mon and Wed mornings when the boys are in preschool and Friday mornings too. The gym has a childcare center, so that's definitely one of the major perks that appealed to me.

I just checked my body mass index (BMI) at this site and it was no surprise to me to see that I fall into the "overweight" category by just a couple points. Dang! So I punched in a few other numbers and encouragingly enough, I only have to lose about 20lbs to be back into the healthy range.
Don't freak out (mom) -- I already spoke with the ob/gyn about it and she said that it's fine for me to actually LOSE weight during pregnancy as long as I'm eating healthy, which I do. I just never excercise, so this weight just hangs on.

So there it is...out in cyberspace for everyone to read - my goal is to lose 20 lbs in the next 6 months. I would say that 6 months is a long time to lose only 20 lbs. but I think the pregnancy could slow things down a bit- we'll see. If anything, I'll build up muscles to help hold the baby belly up and aid in childbirth, so that's a good thing either way you look at it.

This last cartoon further solidifies my belief that all people have an inflated or deflated view of themselves. I, unfortunately have an inflated view. How 'bout you??

Better Late Than Never

A few days late, here's a Happy Birthday Blog to my big brother Rob. Here he last summer with his daughter Abby. It would embarass the heck out of him, but I need to work on getting some more recent pictures of him. Be forewarned Rob - next trip to Michigan my camera will be trained on YOU.

He's pretty cool, as far as big brothers go - he's an accountant and he has an infinity for numbers and details and math that completely befuddle me. He actually LIKES lists and spreadsheets and he even reads the WallStreet Journal - heck, he was even IN the Wall Street Journal (with a picture and everything!) a couple years ago for his business savvy when it comes to fiscal management of your child's college education...or something like that.

He never thought he'd get married - he thought he'd live it up as a bachelor in NYC, working on Wall Street. These days he's content to read about WallStreet and be a great dad to his FOUR children. Yeah, FOUR - it's like some sort of freakish revolt against the typical American family with 4 bedroom home, 2 cars, 1 golden retriever and 1.7 children. They got everything right except for the number of children, but hey, he always HAS been an overachiever.

Growing up, I always referred to him as The Golden Child. He did everything right - he skillfully played the piano for 9 years, had an outstanding GPA, played basketball, always obeyed our parents, never broke curfew, diligently saved every dime he ever made.....the disgustingly perfect first-born who paved a rough road for whatever poor schmuck was unfortunate enough to be born next (i.e. ME).

Those first years were rough - he's seven years older than me and when mom and dad brought me home I cried A LOT (it was probably a foreknowledge of what I was in for having to do the next act after HIM) and after uncovering his ears from my incessant wailing, his first comment to my parents was, "Can't we take her BACK?"

After I had some time to grow up a little and the NEXT poor scmuck came along (youngest sister Shari) I graduated from annoying-little-sister to At-least-I-can-stand-her status. I think he realized at this point that a little brother was NEVER gonna happen. In high school he started his own lawn business that is STILL in existence to this day - passed on to another teenager we knew, who passed it on, who passed it on. Then he went to the big time in college - working landscaping at a golf course. I was working by this time too, but without a car so he'd sometimes pick me up on his way home and we'd stop by Little Caesar's Pizza and order 2 bags of crazy bread (one for each of us) and scarf the ENTIRE thing in the car on the way home. Man, do I miss Little Caesar's.

He likes to try new things - likes to eat at local eateries as opposed to chains, tries new foods and new places. He's not your typical dad who likes to drive nonstop to the family vacation destination. He'd rather take his time and wander around. Check out new places and see new things. He's laid back and relaxed. He's fiercely loyal. He's a beer snob and wants to go to Germany, just so he can try every single one of their fantabulous beers. He's not very openly affectionate, or overly emotional, but those he loves, he loves with passion. He's easily embarassed - his face turns red and he might punch you if you make him blush. He's only verbally told me that he loves me about 6 times in his entire life, but I KNOW that he loves me through his actions every time I'm with him.

He's funny, too - pretty witty guy, if ya know what I mean. Once, after making himself a slice of banana bread with butter and putting it neatly on a plate, he was descending the stairs in our house when he missed a step and completely bit it - rolling head over heels down about 6 steps. Mouth hanging open, I didn't know whether to laugh or call 911. With his legs literally over his head and his neck craned at an awkward angle, he says, "is my banana bread ok?"

In high school we frequently participated in a friendly competition we called "surprise" in which we would catch each other unawares and quickly yank down each other's pants yelling SURPRISE! He was always better at it than me but my opus came when he was out in the front yard doing lawn work and I got him good - pants all the way down to his ankles, tighty-whities flapping in the warm summer air. I was ROLLING on the ground in laughter and triumph.

He's a good big brother - typically watchful, protective, helpful. He does our taxes every year (he's an accountant) and buys me dinner when I come for a visit. He mentions how much he misses me JUST enough so that I know that he means it, but not enough (or so he thinks) that I realize that he really, really, REALLY misses me. And I miss him too.

Happy Birthday Rob. Love you.

To Do: Pick Out Girl's Name: Check!

I don't know why I'm telling everyone this, just to be mean I guess. :) *insert evil laugh here*

We've picked out a girl name for the baby, if it ends up being a girl. Alas, we don't share the names we've picked - we're all about surprises - so you'll just have to wait to find out. But I WILL tell you this...It's a pretty good bet that you've never heard it before. :)

Now if only we could decide on a boy name - Steve has shot down everything I've suggested, so we're open to new ideas, if you have any.

A Little Bit 'O Product Endorsement

Lemme just say that the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser really IS magic. What a fantabulous product (*insert applause for the Mr. Clean product designers here*)

About 4 or 5 months ago, Owen decided to make the walls, door, closet doors, and doorjamb of the spare room/office his canvas. There were red, blue, and gray crayon marks on the walls, blue PERMANENT marker on the WHITE closet doors and the wall next to the closet, in addition to pencil and an unidentified brownish-yellowy substance that I still haven't figured out.

Today and yesterday we've been cleaning this house out like insane maids on crack so I thought I'd give it a go and attack Owen's art work with the Magic Eraser. Wa-la! No more marks - it even wiped off the permanent marker off the closet so well you can't even tell it was there.
Owen WAS sad when he went into the bathroom today and discovered that his pencil-drawn snowmen had been removed from the wall.
"Hey!! Wha happened to my snomans?!""

So...go get yourself a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. Erase away your household cares - no more unsightly stains from boogers, paint, marker, vomit, spaghetti, dried up yogurt, pen, cheese, poop, peanut butter, toejamb, dog drool, dirty feet, sneezes, hairgel, used toothpaste, or any other unsightly and nauseating substance you can come up with. With Magic Eraser in hand, you too can go forth and conquer!!

(The Mr. Clean Inc. Company can feel free to send me advertising royalties to my paypal account. Please inquire as to further payment details).